Ode to Ducks

Uh oh... bust out the party hats, it's time for Chris to be a whiny biyatch again!!


Ever since moving into my new dorm, I've been pretty happy. They halls are quiet for the most part, I have my privacy, and the people are nice. Yes, it's been sweet. Except for one thing...

I live next to a guy who, when I first met him, seemed pretty cool. He was a fratboy, but the first impression he gave me let me overlook that little fact. Anyways, about two weeks into the semester, I awoke suddenly in the night. Loud, squeaky noises had filled my room. Now at first, me, being unaccostomed to the sounds of human college-student fornication, was confused as to what could be causing such a ruckus. Was there a family of mice living in the walls? Or maybe even someone writing on a chalkboard with new chalk? Nah, it couldn't be... BECAUSE NEITHER CHALKBOARDS NOR MICE MOAN AND GROAN!!! So I struck me that either my neighbors were jumping on their bed, or just plain DOING THE NASTY.

Now, apparently, getting down and dirty is no special occasion for my neighbors, unless that is, they consider every other day to be special. I mean seriously, i'm glad you guys are all for celebrating your love and all, but geez, every think of maybe GOING OUT TO DINNER OR SOMETHING? Last week, I swear, I think I heard porno music in there!

Also, there's lies the interesting fact that his girlfriend is in half of my classes. Every time they do it like they do on the discovery channel, the next day she always comes into class late, tired, and in dressed in her PJ's... so i'm always thinking "hmm I wonder what YOU were doing last night......"

If they don't stop their copious-copulation soon, maybe I should set up a webcam and start a porno site, so at least some good can come from their exSEXive noise and my lack of sleep. Then I can become a porn mogul, and quit school forever!

THIS is badass.

Should Chris Grow a Moustache?

Moustaches are just plain sexy. Should I grow a moustache? I wonder what i'd look like...... just imagine the possibilities!






SOUL POWER!




"YOU... SHALL NOT...PASS!!!"

We're discussing gay marriage in my American Dream Rhetoric class, and once again, I'm the only male who seems to be a hippie liberal. Anyways, here's part of the paper i'm currently writing if you care at all...

Throughout the 18th century, the land that would become known as the United States of America faced fierce oppression from the ruling British government, which had introduced legislation limiting the freedoms of those people residing in the American territory. The unfair practices of the British government eventually lead to the declaration of independence of the Americans from the British, on the grounds that “all men are created equal,” and thus deserve fair and equal treatment (Wikipedia). By basing their own freedom on the principle of equality for all, I believe that hypocrisy lies in the fact that Americans would deny the freedom of matrimony to “men” according to their sexual orientation. The rights provided to any average American should be extended to include all Americans considered “men,” regardless of race, religion, and more specifically, sexual preference. Like the average heterosexual American is capable of love with a woman, homosexuals too can experience love, even if that love happens to reside with a member of the same sex. Because of this, it seems unjust that homosexual couples are forbid the same opportunities to celebrate this love through marriage or civil unions, and enjoy the benefits provided to married same-sex couples as well.

I haven't updated my blog in a while. The truth is, I've tried a couple times to write an update, but I simply couldn't think of anything worth mentioning. And by this, I mean that I couldn't find anything substantial to "whine" about or be pissed at. If you look back at a lot of my posts, you'll see that a large portion of them are about my unsatisfaction with certain aspects of my life. Well, the fact of the matter is, that I haven't been able to update because I'm actually pretty happy right now.

Now, while I do still have my share of problems, and my life is a little hectic right now (parents coming in a week, finalizing summer plans, class registration, etc.), I just haven't seemed to mind all the stupid little details of my life. I'm not exactly sure why I've been in such a good mood lately. The weather's been beautiful, I'll get to see my family for the first time since Christmas soon, and i've been trying harder in school, all of which have me looking forward to every next day, rather than dwelling on how my neighbors breed like "ducks" (I swear, they were playing porno music last time), or how the washing machines suck away all my money. So, if you're planning to rob me at gunpoint, borrow money without the intention of paying me back, or God forbid, mess up my perfectly-gelled symmetric hair, you'd better do it sometime soon, while I'm still in this uncanny state of euphoria and won't mind.

Works cited
Reyes, Christoph. My Life. 13 April 2005.

CONSPIRACY THEORY

Right now, my bedsheets smell like freaking ass, because the stupid dryers in the basement didn't dry them fully. This pisses me off, because it forces me to spend another dollar out of my already-depleted flex-dollar account, meaning that another dollar which I would have happily spent on smoothies, subway, chik-fil-a, or stromboli's pizza will now have to go towards drying my sheets for a second time, because the inept dryers are incapable of doing their jobs right the first time.

In my opinion, this is all part of a massive conspiracy by SMU. I believe that SMU rigs their dryers to not dry fully, so that they can suck every last dollar out of the pockets of the unsuspecting students. SMU then takes this money, and launders it through it's webring of crack/cocaine dealers, who then spread out all over the country selling drugs for a profit and then giving all this money back to SMU in the form of "donations" and then have park benches named after them, leaving no evidence whatsoever. It's brilliant.

Also, there's the fact that in my dorm of over 380 students, SMU only provides 5 washing machines for the entire dorm. While it may seem mundane at first, this is actually key to SMU's conspiracy of world domination. You see, by providing only 5 machines, SMU forces each student to fight every other student over washing machine privelidges. In this Darwinian style of competition, each student is forced to eliminate their competition using superior mental and physical talent. With all of the "weaker" students gone, SMU will contain only the finest and most superior mental and physically honed students, and will thrust them instantly to the top of the upper echelon of Universities worldwide.

With its highly developed superhuman student body, SMU students will be sought by every major company to serve as board members, and every nation around the world will want only SMU-educated students to serve as their leaders and members of parliament. By weaving its alumni into an intricate web over all of the world's most powerful nations and financial corporations, SMU will be posed to completely take over the world, and control every aspect of our lives.

So, every time you try to do laundry, and there are no machines available, or you drag your clothes out of the dryer, and they're only HALF dry, I want you to think about why this is, and who's behind it. If you value your freedom, and all laundry that is clean and good-smelling, then you'll wash your clothes elsewhere!!


VIVA LA RESISTANCE!


tunes: Lights by Journey
feeling: tired again

My life's been sooooo crazy lately. This week, i've had 4 tests, a paper, and two pop quizzes to deal with, and it's taken a toll on my sleep-life. I've been up till at least 3AM almost every night this week studying for my tests, and i've been stressssssed. Also, since my family's overseas, i've had to take care of all the "business" here in Dallas that they can't deal with. Bah, in essence, this IS my hell week. Plus, the Pope is not well, and that's sad too :-(

Anyways, as bad as this week has been, I'm happy. The main reason for this being that I had a GREAT Thursday night.......... I knew it was coming, so it made the hell week well worth it.

Saw a movie today, "Guess Who". It was ok I guess, but in a nut shell, it was just another one of those comedies about how people from different backgrounds can't get along, and the hilarity that ensues, blah blah blah.

We're also doing gay marriage this week in Rhetoric, and I look forward to getting jumped in the parking lot by conservative Texans for being a hippie liberal. But other than that, that's pretty much all that's new in my life.